What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
