The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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