last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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