new low.... made out with someone while peeing
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
