she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
