i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
