New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
