Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
