We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
