Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
