Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
