I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
