Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
