i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
