he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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