At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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