I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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