dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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