I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
