Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
