Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
