69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
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the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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