My hand turned me down
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
