Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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