their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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