I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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