at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
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i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
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My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.