I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.