he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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