Can i not drive my cunt home
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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