Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
