there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
