Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
