I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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