tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
