He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
