Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm always down for nudity.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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