Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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