i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
