i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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