yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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