Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
