Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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