i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
