your parents love me but you hate me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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