3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
