don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
