Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
they need to just BURY HIM!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
