I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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