I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
