i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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