He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
