Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
