yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
