took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I checked into jail on foursquare
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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