there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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