told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
